cannot remember what i last said about mark, our guide. i cant actually remember when the last time i wrote was.oh yes.. from the bus when we first got signal. so since then we met the head tour guide who was a very scary lady, alm9ost a female equivalent of our guide. tough as guts, rude, loud and sort of funny.
i read 'the game' you know that book about 'pick up artists' men that are socially useless who band together to come up with tricks of seduction. it sent me into a search through my memory of boys i'd me out over the last few years since the book had been published. devoured the book in 24 hours. hardly spoke to anyone that day. mostly because it was my day to be co-pilot up the front with mark.
we've lost lis (turns out i have been spelling her name wrong - sorry lis!) she's staying with an irish horse trainer friend. but we're seeing her tonight for drinks and an explore of perth at night.
so we've been making our way down the west coast and in the last few days we've passed through shark bay, shell beach, monkey mia, the stramotolites, kalbarri (where we met the farmer from farmer wants a wife!!!! win.) and today we saw the pinnacles just outside perth.
at shell beach tour guide mark was being creepy/annoying again, throwing shells at us and then pretending it wasnt him. we started ignoring him after a while and it kept going for bloody ages. then lis was trying to give people special shell massages and i tried to get involved and sropped lots of shells on nicolas' head/down his neck. i dont think he enjoyed this because he picked me up and was going to throw me in the water (cold) lucky i have such lovely friends who prepare me for these sorts of situations. i intuitively kneed him in the face. job well done, i did not have a swim although i did feel a little bit bad for my violent reaction.
we got up super early yesterday to go to monkey mia to see the dolphins being fed. turns out we went so early so mark could have a huge breakfast at the cafe, we had hours to wait. then the dolphins didnt show up, for 15 minutes, and then 30, and then an hour. we were about to give up, sad that the wildlife had evaded us again (we missed the sharks at turquoise bay and the manta rays in coral bay) but then they came! annoying people we're blocking the way, even though the man kept asking them to move back. typical.
so yesterday when we were walkiing around kalbarri national park we bumped into another tour guide who only had one person with him. he told us that one of the farmers from farmer wants a wife was going to be at the pub. hahahah i was so excited. a couple of months ago, or maybe a year ago we had been talking about applying, i remember al and aimee being especially keen. so after dinner, and a few to many very strong vodka drinks (we were low on mixers) we headed off.
as we approached chris looked a little bit nervous. mostly boys and they were rough. but in we went, desperate to meet the farmer, well no one else quite so much as me. britta had thought that i was joking when i';d said we were going.
i really hate whoever put a video camera on normal cameras. this trip the video recorder has seriously damaged my cred. hahah, no but really. i just saw videos of me dancing on a table, on my own. it was so much cooler in my head, on camera it plays like a scene from Bridget jones' diary.
oh so i met the farmer, we had a fake wedding, he picked me up and nearly broke his wrist. then he told me the backstage goss fromk the show and how it works, some details have left me, the jugs were flowing (at $16, bloody west coast) he was a bit old for me to want to marry him (aimee? interested?) but he was very lovely. there was also a group of trendies hanging around, i was trying to guess where they were from, most of them dressed well but normaally but one girl loooked like she stepped off a fashion shoot. ingruiging in kilbarri. so i made friends with one of the boys and then went and sat with them. the girls were not so fun. then the others came over and joined me and they girls were a little bit more friendly seeing that i wasnt trying to steal their (dull) men. then i spilt my beer on one of them and friendship over. they left.
one of the farmer's friends, oh yes he was a pearl farmer, wanted to continue 'partying' at his house and i nearly got sucked in until the others talked some sense into me. so back to bed we went. not before tackling chris in the dorm and waking up nicolas by climbing all over his bed. he loves me, really.
today we were useless. teh one not hungover and sleep deprived person was co-pilot so in the back there was zero conversation. no more games of shoot shag marry and no more girls vs boys bickering.
we were meant to start making dinner at 7.30 but now it's 8.21 and nicolas is still in the shower, britta is on the phone to her sister bella (snap) laughing her head off and talking a million miles an hour in german. i need to remember t film her laugh, it;s so good. chris looks like hugh hefner reading a book on his bed,.
terrible news: britta and i forgot our half full bottle of vodka on the bus.
good news: we could feed a small country with the amount of food we took off the bus that would have been thrown out otherwiise.
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