sorry, could not connect to network at this time

speedy blogging, 6 dolla per hour for internet in broome. have had zero reception for the last 10 days or so so i am going crazy with my mobile phone and the internet. well it feels that was in comparrison to the dry spell i have just survived.

so, as said, i'm in broome, the weather is deliscious, lovely friends made on the trip from darwin to broome. don't even know where to start, it's been so long since my last post the thought is a little bit over whelming and once agin this keybard is shit. so excuse the millions of typos to come, i'm rushing to get over to cable beach to join the brazillian boys in colourful speedos.

liz from scotland is sitting next to me, she was my tent partner the one night we slept under a roof, so to speak. She will be coming with me all the way to perth. liz is from a farm in scotland and so has been both excellent in terms of practicality and excellent for laughing at over her accent.

aside from us, everyone who is not at the beach is doing washing at the moment. liz is doing her banking and talking to herself.

ok, where to start. not sure if i wrote on here my plans to track down mark, the awkward but lovely tour guide from kakadu. well i wasnt sure if i should be a stalker and track him down or not, i made a friend at the bar of my hostel and we tossed a coin, the coin said track him down but then i got distracted by this new friend craig from england. and then anoter boy spilt his beer next to me and bought me one (craig wasnt so lucky.) he was stoned and hilarious tellnig us all about his best friend that rochelle that he is in love with who he followed to darwin from perth and now they live together but she doesnt know he loves her and how he dies a little bit inside whenever rochelle has boys stay the night.

stoned beer spiller then went stumbiling away just as mark the tour guide walked in. perfect. i was three beers down and i think i overwhelmed him with my excitement at seeing him. but over the night we had a few awkward chats. craig was lovely though, he told me about traveling with ocd and how it makes dorm rooms difficult. then a girl from his dorm room came over with her latest special friend 'vin diesel' and they decided to call me christina ricci (surprise) an we made plans to go out but it was 2ish and i had to get up at 5.30 and craig was starting to get creepy and lurky so i decided on bed instead.

called adam on the telephone, cannot remember what about except maybe connors kissing some babe at rosie's house.

woke up in the morning to disruption from the bunk bellow mine. this was my first encounter of romance in the dorm and so i panicked. didn't know what to do so i decided to set off my alarm to give the new couple a heads up. turns out i had forgotten to set my alarm the night before so i suppose i owe them a thank you.

waiting in the travel agent for almost an hour for our truck/bus to arrive i met to pretty brazilian boys who were gonig to be on my tour, pedro and marcelo. early in the morning they were lovely... give it 12 hours and they would become evil tormentors.

the first day we went to edith falls, had been there before between alice and darwin but we had more time this time so we got to do the walk up to the waterfall which was amazing. so beautiful. i'm probably not even going to bother trying to explain all the walks through gorges as they will all sound the same but i'll just say now, what a beautiful part of the world.

we slept that night near katherine, right next to a crocodile infested river. marcelo offered to have his swag closest to the river and i was second closest but then when i wasnt looking he moved his a couple of inches so that i became the sacrificial camper.

on the first two days i sat up the front with adam our tour guide. it was great because i got to be dj as well as asking him all the questions i could think of. he told me about his first tour where a boy was being silly trying to take a photo near a ledge in kaherine and fell off into the water. they ran down and made a stretcher out of waterbottles and a swag i think to get him accross the river and keep him still because he had serious serious breaks and wouds. they had no real pain killers or medicine because the tour guides arent legally allowed to carry it and it was too late for the flying doctors to come out because it was going to get dark in a couple of hours. so they waited while he died. it took three hours. his brother was there. and all the girls were in hysterics. once he was dead they could call the police to collect the body. it hadn't really struck me before just how remote it can get here. you are actually on your own. without a satellite phone you mght wait hours and hours just to see another car. if its after lunch there is huge chances that if you get yourself in trouble no one will be able to help you until morning.

on my second day i got sick. i lost my voice and had this really awful can't breathe cough. luckily we passed kananara (spellling) the last town for days, and two canadian doctors that were on the trip convinced me to get cough syrup and these codine painkillers. thank goodness they did, the day walking through the bungle bungles in 30 degree direct sunight for hours and hours was impossibe, if i hadnt had it i dont know what i would have done. almost better now, it only hurts when i laugh but i told that to the pharmacist this morning and she gave me some medicine to help get my laughter back.

aside from liz and the brazilians. jasper is from holland. he is outrageously chill. although.... the other night i was plucking marcelo's nipple/nose/monobrow hairs with a headtorch by the fire after a night of drinking games and jasper discovered his swag was broken so he demanded a spot in my double shvag(that is hw he says it) there is only one of those and it was my turn to have it. i said alright as long as he doesnt try to spoon me. he agreed but silly me forgot all about the dutch oven jokes they had been making all day.

the next morning i realised the rookie mistake made.


that's georgia and lis on the bus.

christine, a girl from norway who has been in australia studying for the last fiveish years taught us about the night sky one night, she had just finished her phd in physics, so that was really special, i can now locate the southern cross and use the poiters to find south. she showed us a lot more but i cuold not retain, the scorpion will never be in my constellatin repertoir i think.

georgia is from geelong but lives in footscray, she is bloody hilarious. her and marcelo made me seem quiet and reserved in comparrison, although, lak of voice helped also.

i've been keeping a juornal so lots of 'dear diary' jokes ahve been made at my expense. but i'm glad that i ahve kept it, even if it is almost impossible to read thanks to the bumpy gibb river road.

a couple of days ago we stopped off for drinks and ice cream at a caravan literally ni the middle of no where, as in the next town is hours away on all sides. it's this little old man on his own who has trouble speaking due to lung cancer. he wasnt very nice to me because i was from boring old melbourne. so random. this country of ours does not stop to make me laugh. the more i see the more i love it.

we've walked to lots of waterfalls and swimmnig holes. there georgia liz and i conquopred fears of jumping from big hights although copped a lot of shit for holding our noses, bikini tops and screamnigh all the way down.

oh my god, but seriously, the brazilian boys are so funny in their speedos. will have to upload photos when i get the chance.

this is all infecting and encouraging my travel bug. britta from germany was telling me about her parents four years travelling around the us and south america for four years in a campervan. i want to go now.

there are 9 of us staying all in the same hostel in broome for a couple of days. it's really nice all being together. i'm running out of time on my internet and the beach is calling.

miss you all dear friends, family and who ever else stumbled upon this useless blog.

table for one, please

Now i'm in darwin all on my lonesome. sharing a dorm with three trashy boys. the room is such a mess. the people at the front desk have begged them to clean it up. i was having confused dreams this morning and hearing all this birdsong. i thought the hostel was playing it over the speaker system. (i dont even think there is one) but turns out it was the boy in the bed bellow mine, snoozing his alarm every ten minutes from 6am (he had work at 7) until 11.15 when we all woke up.

this is my side of the dorm, i really should have photographed the messy side.

i was a massive battler yesterday at the airport. in my head i was all cool calm and collected but my body let me down. being all hot and cold and shakey and hungry etc. of course i was stuck next to annoying people on the plane. i had teh aisle seat, i neeeeeed it because it makes me anxious when im on my own not being able to go for an aisle walk or take a trip to the toilet whenever i like it. but of course when i get to my spot (19c) there are is a man in 19a and a woman in 19c with three kids in 19 d e and f. they ambushed me, telling me their kids are nervous flyers so would i sit next to teh windown to preserve the happiness of the bloody nuclear family. i said ok. but they were fat. and someone kept farting, awful awful farts, the whole way. i needed to go to the toilet because i had paniced at the snack bar and bought water and juice and banana bread. but the fatty family were all sleeping instantly.

oh, this is cazz marching me to the train to the airport.

i waited for ages writing in my journal and reading my soppy love story but eventually i had to push the man until he woke up. he was not happy, then he woke his wife and they both moved their legs to the side. but they were too large, i tried to be all acrobatic but even still i got jammed in the middle of them. it was very awkward wenching my right leg out of the depth of their oversize limbs. i see that i am being mean but it was so hellish i do not care.

today i have been to the supermarket to stock up on sunblock and the like (also shampoo, my shampoo exploded all over all my stuff last night., ) then i went on an epic mission to find a hairdresser who wasnt booked out for the day (it's massive tourism season in darwin at the moment.) one hairdresser was mean and sent me away but then a lovely one directed me to another one that was free. they also waxed my legs... all for $55. winner.

tomorrow i'm up bright and early to start my mission down the west coast. not sure when i will have internet next, probably not for ages. so mum, dad, grans, bell, friends if you are reading this, i am safe, happy, enjoying myself, looking forward to the next few weeks and not to be worried over. missing you all, even you caroline,

46 hours in sydney

Caroline and i mastered the public transport in sydney and arrived at the bus stop near nicola's without drama. nicola gave us tea and toast and a squeaky bed with lots of doonas. although there are six of them that live in the sharehouse three of them were away so we had lots of room to ourselves.

the next morning we got up at 9, well we meant to, i slept in for an hour. and then cruised over to surry hills for a vegan cafe and vintage clothes shops. caroline was the baller with the monies who had intentions to buy up big but surprise surprise i spent more money than i can afford and cazza didn't buy anything.

but i had to. in one vintage shop i found a piece that i need for my birthday party. as you all know the theme is tarantino and i stumbled upon this leotard that was half leather, the top half which was sleeveless and has a massive zip down the middle. teh bottom half is all lacey. the thing is almost impossible to squeeze in but i could not resist. not sure which character i will be but i will use this piece as part of my costume no matter what.

then we went on to bondi beach. nicola dropped in that the boy she has been seeing lives around here, cazz says how does he afford it, nicola says oh he plays football, cazz says oh? nicola says, sydney swans, cazz says how did you meet him, losing her composure, all in a fluster of excitement and envy. nic tells us she is doing nutritional work experience with the sydney swans. it takes cazz a good 12 hours to recover. we also go past two of the apple stores. one with trees in it and some other massive one that we had to stop and go into, up onto each floor.

Nicola has work in the afternoon. cazz and i go to the supermarket to buy food and come homewith hair die. i meant to go blonde and cazz wanted to go light blonde. no idea why we wanted to, probably after being around helena's beautiful blonde curly hair in byron. not that ours would look at all like that but still.

stupid me, did not think about the fact that i had red and purple dye in my hair already. so now i have copper hair on the bottom and awkward blonde in the roots. cazz's colour wasnt strong enough to do anything. fail of a dye sesh.

yesterday we met up with south african ben, who we met in byron and went to the sydney bienali which was on cockatoo island. there were all these cool art installations. my favourite one being of all the dead communist leaders in glass caskets and then castro on his death bed with slightly breathing lips. it was so lifelike. they were waxy sort of. it was so so cool. we also saw lots of multimedia works and short films. such a day well spent.

that night we ordered agoodbye feast of thai takeaway. it was devine. and then cazz took me to the train station and we said our goodbyes.

caroline, please add some sydney photos to this blog post for me.

oh those cheeky little monkey's

A night that began with a game of 6 dollar wine kings and ended in perversion. After doling out our left over food (cazz and i were headed to newcastle to stay with nelson and lisa and then sydney to stay with nicola so we wouldn't be needing it) we bought the cheapest alcohol we could find and began the dreaded game that always ends memorably, or would if someone took enough photos.

Tristan watched while Helena, Jen, Ben, Nir, cazz, me and our new dorm friend KC played. Tristan was committed to his early morning surf plans. Cazz and i intended to see Diane, who we met in Darwin but at 10pm, when we were supposed to be meeting her, we were all still sitting on the couch picking cards. Paul, a very stoned, very confused boy tried to join the game with no alcohol and no sense, we spent the rest of the night taking turns looking after him and trying to shoo him away.

we finally got on the arts factory bus just after 11. And guess who was in line of sight as soon as we walked into cheeky monkey's, DIANE. it was brilliant. a lot of horendous dancing ensued.

Oh and we bumped into Jordi from Barcelona who had been wearing a skirt during the day and who should not be allowed to play have you ever. That's cazz, jordi and diane.

We went home at about three, bumped into paul again, not sure what he was doing waiting outside cheeky monkey's as we had been in there for hours and he was never allowed in but oh well, he climbed on the bus with us. When we got home we decieded to be cheeky monkey;s and have an illegal spa (shuts at 10) so we went up to our dorm and started getting changed until caroline decided that paul should not be able to come in the spa as he would be loud and ruin it for all... so she started saying very loud and slow that we were all going to bed, it took a while for everyone to catch on and stop yelling 'no we arent we're having a spa' but eventually paul was taking to his dorm and tucked in (maybe, not sure).

we all climbed in to the spa, made a whole lot of noise as we climbed in because all the water went out of the spa and into the pool, it was pretty much half full by the time we were all in. No one could stop laughing, blame it on the heat of the spa, it goes to your head, and although we were all starving no one could get out because the fun of being in the contrabanned spa was just too much to say no to. eventually the night watchman discovered us but seeing out pathetically tame we were being decided we were allowed to stay. not the same after that.

most of us got out and had showers and got all snug for bed and then ended up meeting on that bench outside our dorm. Someone points out that two of the team are still in the spa, the joker of have you ever and little british friend. Caroline says how long til they kiss? then they do. before we know if clothes are off and there are mysterious sounds coming from the spa. well not so mysterious. No one seemed to think that this was not a spectator sport and so we stayed, not quite until the end as the show ran overtime, impressing everyone after 45 minutes. eventually, sobering up, we decided it was time to go to bed. at the time there were no moral qualms, the next morning however, we were all guiltridden, hiding our faces as our two special friends greeted us good morning.

Not the Merlot

Presently in Sydney, staying at Nicola's share house in Leichardt. Nic is at work at her local pub, cazz and i just cooked dinner and now we are about to lose all dignity dying our hair shades of blonde. She is back in Melbourne next week so she will have to face being laughed at while i will be hiding on the other side of the country for the next month. Silly Cazz. Nicola's flatmate that she doesn't like is practicing his claronette, it's a comical backdrop.

This blog post, however, is about our journey to newcastle and our day there with lisa and nelson. We arrived just before 10pm in new castle and were met by lisa and nelson and the train station. The 10 hour bus trip was unpleasant, after our night at cheeky monkeys we were feeling a little bit under teh weather. plus we missed the shuttle bus from the arts factory into town so we had to run in the heat with our packs on. cazz was wearing her pleather and felt nauseous for ages after.

As we were running Helena and Nir passed us by on their bus to Nimbin. we were sad to see them go and a bit sad that we weren't making it to nimbin. The greyhound usually stops every couple of hours for snacks but that day we went nearly four before we were allowed to stop off for food. When we finally got to the truck stop place cazz got a pie and i ordered a burger. we wolfed that all down and then i ordered a pie and cazz ordered a burger. being a slow eater i didnt have time to finish my pie and had to throw it out. soul destroying. When we finally arrived so many hours later we were looking forward to a tea and a chat with anybody else. But bloody lisa and nelson provided much much more. we walked into the house to the smell of a roast chicken and vegetables. then there was apple pie and custard for desert. Nelson is a big master chef fan. caroline and i appreciated that, a lot. They offered us their bed, but we could not accept, so we slept on blow up mattresses and sleeping bags on teh living room floor. Lisa played the digeridoo for us, surprisingly good.

the next morning we hired a car and drove out to the hunter valley for wine tasting as nelson thought this was the best way to spend a day around new castle.

we paid $5 for an hour long tour at one of the vineyards, forget the name. overall we drank far too much. had to have numerous snack stops. we packed so much food in the back of the car and ate almost all of it. at the last vineyard we stopped at we discovered outrageously cheap massive bucket things of port. apparently some uni student had been buying it, packaging it and selling ti for huge profits at the uni. also popular amongst fishermen apparently.

We wanted to make sushi that night for dinner after seeing some of the wines saying that they go well with sushi and whetting our appetites. but the fishmonger said it wasnt sushigrade so we had to choose something else. natural resort back to pasta and garlic bread. but lisa caramelised bananas and we had sticky date pudding sara lee ice cream which was so yum.

That night we got back on the bus and headed down to sydney, leaving at 9.20 and arriving at 11.40. but that is another story...

byron bay, what have you done to my camera?

Useless Caroline Downes did not bring her camera cord with her and now my camera is misbehaving so we have no way of getting photos off cameras and on to the screen for all the avid readers out there.
While this is distressing, i need to stay on the computer to charage our ipods, so i will write another blog post just to waste time. We have a 10 hour bus ride tomorrow to Newcastle to see Lisa and Nelson, friends we made in Alice Springs. With flat ipods that journey would be horrendous.

So yesterday was thrown away. We did not achieve much at all. Today, however, has been fun. We are fully recovered and spent the day at the beach with new friends, Tristan, Ben, Helena, Nir and Jennifer. The boys went surfing while they girls lay on the beach (very puberty blues) Cazz and i had a frolic in the sea for the sake of beach hair and because we could not resist acting like seals in the shallows.


Some kids had built a mermaid in the sand and then another kid had ruined her face so we decided to fix her up, make a merman and a merdog as well, to keep her company. It was laborious but the end result was magnificent, i think our street art may start being commissioned. Although the merdog, my creation, ended up being a merkangaroo, the overall result was fab. Just as we were about to leave for falafels caroline says 'look rom, its steve and aj' poor troody was left off the list. Surprise surprise. Later on we also see will with his girlfriend. May bump in to them tonight at cheeky monkeys or the buddha bar.


the afternoon was spent in a falafel bar playing backgammon and listening to Nir sing along to Israeli songs. Guy from brisbane is somewhere in the arts factory at the moment, i should have a look for him. We're also hoping to see Diane tonight.

Riding in Cars with Boys

Will add photos tomorrow. In Byron Bay at the Arts Factory. Struggling with difficult/temperamental keyboard. Looking forward to a six dollar butter chicken for dinner at the hostel cafe. Had veggie lasagna for lunch, tres delish,. Today has been thoroughly wasted. We only have today and tomorrow really here and today - gone. nothing achieved except for a walk to the supermarket 20 minutes ago to buy emergency snacks for hungry campers.
Since Myella, we have been in Noosa, Brisbane and now we're in Byron. Noosa was great for our health. We stayed with my youthful grandma De and two of her good friends, Di and Wince. They grnadma'd us, fed us up, let us have access to their washing machine and taught us about the history of contraception with a focus on the 50s. Delightful. Caroline and iI arrived in noosa after a 14 hour bus trip from Myella to rockhampton to brisbane and then back up again. We were dropped at the bottom of the hill separating us from beds, at the bottom of Hasting street. The climb was hell but we had naps until three and then woke up to Deidre' classical salad, the best lunch in the world.
Caroline got her hair cut by chatty american sister hairdressers who convinced us that we should go and see the latest twilight. we obliged. There were boys everywhere in that cinema, bizarre. We joined the hairdressers exclusive club entitled 'Die Bella Die' (ps not baby sister bell, you can live a while longer) Jacob, what a babe. On our last day in noosa we also saw my other gran who was also up with two friends. Honestly, it was a long weekend of grandmas, we were indulged by six grandmas, it was heaven.


We had an 8am bus from Noosa to Brisbane, the toilet was broken so it was a couple of hours of torture for me. We stayed in a big aqua blue hostel called Chill. There were 10 people in our dorm, when we arrived there was just a big sleepy redheaded scot who smelt like last night's beer. We made friends with a pretty german boy with lovely long curly hair and decided to have a bit of an explore. Of course we found a cheap bookshop and bought three for $25 and then found a cafe for lunch. There were free postcards which was exciting, we hadn't seen them for ages. We found a gorgeous cafe in the middle of the city that was like a closed in rainforest, well not quite but you had no idea you were in the city sitting in with all the green.

That night we saw Clare who we met in Central. We explored southbank, had pizza and cheap wine, cazz and clare bought matching owl bags which are beautiful, they both could buy the same ones considering they live on opposite ends of teh world. Bundle i know you arent reading my blog as you are in NYC but if you were you would also know that we bought you your birthday present here. Clare also gave me her Global Gossip card, that is how i am writing now my pretties.

The next day we had an indulgent sleep in and then went to the super market, bought lunch ingredients, and strolled over to the botanical gardens. We had a picnic and got harassed by the birds who wanted caroline's sandwich. We went to the cinema because the weather wasn't nice and saw animal kingdom which was enjoyed. We sat at the palace cinemas cafe for hours after the film having coffees, brownies and hot chocolates, writing post cards, writing in journals and reading. Caroline is reading a Paulina Simmons and although she protests about the book often, is rarely without it.



We meant to go to the supermarket to scavenge around for a cheap dinner, turns out teh coles in Brisbane shuts at 5pm on a saturday, who knew. We went for a walk and found lots of nice little bars but no supermarket. We went back to the coles to ask a waiter at the restaurant opposite. He didnt know but a short boy with brown hair introduced himself as AJ and offered us a lift to the iga. Now we all know that you shouldnt talk to strangers, or get in their cars, especially when they are a sort of fluro bluey green but he told us of his troubles in making his boyfriend home made mandarin cordial and we decided he was harmless enough. WRONG. Listen to your parents kids, auntie caroline and i are lucky to be alive.

His friend zooms past us in his flamboyant car. AJ borrows cazz's phone to call him to say he drove past us. 10 minutes later we get in the car. the driver is not particularly friendly at first. He zooms off as soon as both my legs are in the door, door still open. He is playing loud screamy music, i feel anxious. He is literally speeding up to 40ks over the speed limit in little brisbane streets and then slamming on teh breaks. The boys tell us they are going home to be housewives, that is what they do full time, and to take copious amounts of drugs. They ask us how we feel about party drugs, impartial we say, being diplomatic, they tell us they like them but dont drink, cazz asks what their poison of choice is and the driver answers straight faced 'crystal.' We miss the iga because the driver wasnt listening to Ajs directions, we do some more hooning before arriving. They kindly offer to drop us near our hostel as they are headed back in that direction anyway, not wanting to die but ages away from home we say yes thanks.

Trying to contain our laughter, we do our shopping and get back in the car. AJ seems to be struggling in his hunt for the ingredients needed for the cordial. While we wait for him his friend, the driver tells us he got his lisence back today, having lost it for driving under the influence of crystal meth on the night of the lady gaga concert, he didnt even get to see the end because during he went to get more and that's when they got hime. He didnt seem to mind though because he hates Queens, at Gaga was full of them. He says they deserve to get bashed. He didnt seem to have much time for lesbians either. Then he worried we might be and checked that we werent. Turns out for being off your face on meth you only get a $200 fine and lose your license for a month. Before illegally stopping on a highway to let us out he tells us to find him on facebook, 'Vagina Rose' facebook me girls!

That night we were hoping to see a family friend of mine but due to me and her being useless at organising anything that never ended up eventuating. Instead we drank wine on the roof of the hostel, went to a couple of backpacker bars with new friends and eventually scoped out the infamous valley.

Arrived home at 5, setting alarms for 7 was soul destroying but we made it. Most of our dorm was happy to wake up when we did anyway, wanting to discuss the soccer.

Just before we pumped into our friend Diane in teh supermarket, not knowing she is in Byron. We might go to Nimbin with her tomorrow. Anyway, dinner time.